I Always Knew Where the Exit Was

I was not reckless. At least not all the time.

People who know parts of my story assume I jumped into anything and everything. That's not quite how it was. I had boundaries. They were just not the boundaries most people would recognize.

The test was simple. Is there an exit? Is there a get-away?

In high school some guys were shooting guns at night. Bad targets — yard lights, road signs. I was not there. One way in, no way out, exposure that could follow you forever. I knew that without having to think about it.

We used to flash Christmas lights in town. One of the switches was on the ladder on the water tower. Sometimes just for fun, guys would climb the water tower. I stayed off it. Always. One way up, one way down. No escape route. That was not a place I was willing to be.

I did not have a name for that instinct then. I understand it now. It was a survival mechanism built early and sharpened over decades. I knew the difference between a risk worth taking and a trap. Until the last day that is.

It was never about right and wrong. There was no moral filter running in the background. The only calculation was tactical — is there a way out. I never thought about getting caught. I thought about whether there was a solid chance to get away. Those are not the same thing.

My memoir — Mr. Hyde and Me— is full of moments where that instinct fired. It publishes on Amazon July 1, 2026.

If you want to know more before July, the story starts at mrhydeandme.com

This is part of a countdown series leading to the July 1, 2026 launch of Mr. Hyde and Me.

by Benjamin F Sautter