Integration

That new word in my vocabulary.

Compartmentalization was the old one — the word that explains how I did things completely out of my character. Well, completely out of one of my characters.

Integration is the new one. It's what's happening now, in the aftermath of my memoir — the coming together of two men who were never supposed to meet.

It's still hard to see and hear myself as two different people, even while I watch them merging into one.

Deep down, most times, I do feel the detachment from emotions — like there is more feeling that should be there.

I know the definition of both words now. I still don't know all the feelings